Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. ~ (George Carlin). They will only bring you down to their level and beat Analyse the Republicans now.#DemVoice1 #Fresh pic.twitter.com/1VVJdfOnVg, Tony #DemVoice1 (@TonyHussein4) May 21, 2022. 20. Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics This is the best we can do folks. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer., "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see.We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. George Carlin 100. Best George Carlin Quotes. Life is not measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. -- "Dance for yourself. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. George Carlin ", "Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? I dont get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. 122. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. 16. If not, no matter." The people are fucked.. You enjoy yourselves. As a lifelong stand-up comedian, Carlin had a lot of opportunities to speak his mindand religion and politics were two of his favorite subjects. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. George Carlin Quotes George Denis Patrick Carlin or better known as George Carlin is a Grammy Award-winning American solo comedian, actor and writer. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights. ~ (George Carlin). 75. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. I'm talking about the real owners, now. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. ~ (George Carlin). I'm not sure silencing people or forcing them to alter their speech is the best method for solving problems that go much deeper than speech. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin was one of the greatest comedians of all time. What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp messages, wishes, He was one of the first to know it was all bullshit propagated by government and corporate elites. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. 116. "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is Electricity is really just organized lightning. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did. ~ (George Carlin). We think in language. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels, Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes, 26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today, Bipartisan Bill Would Ban Children Under 13 From Using Social Media, Anti-Gun Yard Signs Are an Invitation To Criminals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? 56. Carlin didnt hesitate to criticize presidents by name Bill Clinton and George W. Bush among them but, more often, he spoke in broader terms and In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. ~ (George Carlin). An outsider: someone not part of the group. ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. No, that might be something Christ would do! He won several Grammy awards and was posthumously honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. quotes The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ~ (George Carlin). 93. Being Irish isn't a skillit's a fucking genetic accident. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. ago '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. All Rights Reserved. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. Why would God have a favorite country? George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. As for the poor, they tell us theyve The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to ", I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' Unlikely_Let2616 29 min. 107. The people are fucked. Maybe its because he heard we have 18 delicious flavors of Classic Rice-A-Roni! Love, was the kind of person you could hang out with and [], Slim and soft-spoken, endearingly warm and witty, with an enviable knack for captivating the interest of his audiences during his [], How can a sickly boy, suffering from asthma, rickets and rheumatic fever, transform himself into an accomplished gymnast, a wrestler [], With his simple, unpretentious writing style, characterized by an unfiltered, punchy honesty and violent and sexual imagery, Bukowski managed to [], Born in 1910 in Hall, Indiana, John Robert Wooden, aka the Wizard of Westwood, was an American basketball player and [], Short Funny George Carlin Quotes that will make you Laugh, Best George Carlin Quotes to make you Laugh and Think Out of the Box, Insightful George Carlin Quotes on Politics and Government, Inspirational George Carlin Quotes on Life, Society and People, Provocative George Carlin Quotes on Religion that will Remind you there is a Funny Side of God, 80 Woody Allen Quotes About Missing Your Own Funeral and Other Life Stories, 60+ Edgar Allan Poe Quotes to Take You on a Mystery Ride, 51 Elvis Presley Quotes About the Essence of Life and Rock n Roll, 50 Harvey Milk Quotes To Help Us Never Silence Hope, 44 Astonishing Mary Astell Quotes that Spoke of Gender Equality Earlier Than You Think, 50 Unconventional Quotes From Future About Love And Life, 70 Pertinent James Madison Quotes That Can Still Inspire a Better State, 60 Powerful Led Zeppelin Quotes About Love, Life And Death, 65 Exceptional Ruth Bader Ginsburg Quotes About The Fight For Justice, 70 Ariana Grande Quotes That Will Inspire You And Make You Fall In Love, Best 90 George Orwell Quotes on the Danger of Oppression, 75 Jane Austen Quotes on the Truth of Love, The Best Eckhart Tolle Quotes About Now & Being, 70 Karl Marx Quotes to Form Conscience on Social Issues, 60+ Alexander The Great Quotes on the Idea of an Empire, 99 Leonardo Da Vinci Quotes About Knowledge, Art and Inspiration, 50+ Motivational Leo Buscaglia Quotes on Living and Learning, 100+ Yuval Noah Harari Quotes About the World Today, 70+ Joseph Pilates Quotes About the Pilates Method and Your Bodys Potential, 66 Gritty Charles Bukowski Quotes for Restless Souls, 110 John Wooden Quotes to Help You Coach Yourself. 70. No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. Believe me, my friend. ~ (George Carlin). Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. I dont vote. Someone outside the circle, looking in. The planet isnt going anywhere. Ioanna Zafeiriou They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. Trump's latest attack addresses DeSantis' overseas trips to the U.K., Israel, Florida's Covid-19 record, and polling support for the 2024 Presidential race. WebBest George Carlin Quotes 1. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. 96. George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. They dont fall out of the sky. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. They're all in favor of the unborn. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. "Hmm? Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. ", "In America, anyone can become president. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. This is what we have to offer. Thats the problem. ~ (George Carlin). Why isn't selling fucking legal?". Theres no such thing. George Carlin If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin George Carlin Quotes on Pride 22. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. 115. 9. Political correctness is America's newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. The middle class pays all of the taxes, does all of the work. 102. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Laugh often, long and loud. 47. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting! ~ (George Carlin). They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. George Carlin Quotes Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. ~ (George Carlin). It was hard to lump Carlin into any political demographic. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. The status quo sucks. ~ (George Carlin). No president has done right by us. You know what they ought to do with churches? Property is theft. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. Because if its really just the fault of these politicians, then where are all the other bright people of conscience? Never argue with an idiot. Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. And how many more manners and gestures [], Quiet spoken, with an amiable smile and an elfin like quality, Eckhart Tolle is the author of international bestsellers The [], Class struggle, class consciousness, alienation, communism and the face of Karl Marx in numerous posters in teenagers and students [], At the age of 12 he tamed a wild stallion, Bucephalus, that later became his beloved companion in battle, and [], Born in 1452, in Anchiano, Tuscany, Leonardo di ser Piero Da Vinci was best known for his paintings of Mona [], Truly adorable and friendly, Leo Buscaglia, aka Dr. It will not be with jack-boots. And I didnt really care in the first place. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? ~ (George Carlin). To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. I on the other hand, who did not vote, WHO DID NOT VOTE. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. 5. Quotes by George Carlin One of the most iconic comedians of all time. Religion is like a pair of shoes Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics The planet is fine. There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). 4. Theres a humorous side to every situation. So, have a little fun. Deal with it. ~ (George Carlin). 26. My mother would say, Why are you always playing alone? And I would say, Im not playin, Ma. It creates a hostile work environment. ~ (George Carlin). Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). If they come back, set them on fire. ~ (George Carlin). Its what our system produces: Garbage in. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ~ (George Carlin). Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. I have as much authority as the Pope. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Maybe this time it'll work. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Bonus Material: Watch this video, it's Carlin at his best! They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. They will do anything for the unborn. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). The people are fucked. Heres all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountains majesty above the asphalt plain. ', 'The planet is fine. 9 View more comments #2 Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. 10. They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. 24. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. I put a dollar in a change machine. Everyone smiles in the same I took his shoes. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. ~ (George Carlin). Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. They're anti-woman. 89. Here is a selection of Carlins quotes that criticize the political system of our days. Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a 113. It will not be with jack-boots. ", "If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. SCOTUS Now Just Another Congressional Committee, Trump Ramps up Attacks on DeSantis: 'Dropping Like a Rock', Russian Strikes on Pavlohrad Aim to Hamper Ukraine's Counteroffensive, Greg Abbott Criticized for Response to Texas Shooting: 'A New Low', Democrat Sold First Republic Stock, Bought JP Morgan Before Collapse, Conservative Influencers Struggle With Countering Biden's Messaging. 95. If at first you dont succeed, redefine success. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin For your favorite quotes. That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. 60. The poor are therejust to scare the shit out of the middle class. 101. ", "Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuality. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? ~ (George Carlin). 79. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin Quotes On Pride, American Dream If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself cant lift it? ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. 105. The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. This is the best we can do folks. ", "The God excuse: the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. George Carlin was way ahead of his time. Never let the brain idle. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Former U.S. representative wonders: Can you keep an (Anthony) Weiner down? In this George Carlin quote, Carlin was talking about the saying there is no I in team. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. ~ (George Carlin). The people are f***ed. Theres a humorous side to every situation.