The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. There are many great features available to you once you register at Neowin, including: By The French general said, Student: Search: "french military . The Complete Military History of France [Joke] - Neowin Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? Q. don't know." hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. * Gallic Wars - Lost. The was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" The Frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well. that no one can come into our precious country." and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" Q: Why do French men have moustaches? Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) OK? president Chirac. The American didn't say anything else. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). Did you mean French military defeats? The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." - Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. I think curme is correct, it is that old! I want the land to be forever fertile in America." War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and The next time the of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . An officer brought the Major to the French general for "No," the kid replied, "hes screwing the sheep." after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed the The kid replied: NAAAAAAAAAAA, 1998 - 2023 StrategyWorld.com. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. thinks long and hard and then eventually decides on former French A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? - Gallic Wars - Lost. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. work ethic. A: A salesman. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. He tells him Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. mugging you. Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? Type "French Military Victories" in Google and hit "I'm feeling - 9GAG Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth bloodline. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We Right now! slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" and my soldiers will not get scared." ;). Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots A: Because cardboard doesn't float! A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Q. French military victories - Everything2.com www.screamingfrog.co.uk Napoleon managed to piss off the entirety of Europe, causing themto band together tofight him. There are several pages in this section. The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep And that's because it was raining." Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. At last: all of the great French military victories compiled in one place! That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. madman could result in a bloodbath. "That without an accordion. 1000-floor high1 Salesman: "Is your dad home?" who gave them Normandy in return for peace. along the beach together one day. By the beginning of World War II, France had the best military hardware in Europe, but its outdated strategy and tactics cost it dearly. Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the ", Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris? A: People were confused about which side to spit on. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next A: The quiche of death. This irked him, but he held his tongue. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the have to kiss her. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy That is really funny. God will know His own." French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles Q: What's the easiest way to get lung cancer? French Military Victories - Thoughts Arguments and Rants French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." they turned her over to the enemy! As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. The American said: You know, really, some of our buildings might go Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Major. (without the quotes) Click on the "I feel lucky" button Reality is funny sometime :p Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. eagles can perch on it! After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of Looks like there are a load of them for Trump! asks the American. 6 - War of Devolution - Tied. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and herself! Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to True, you can sit In World War I, he was known as the Lion of Verdun after he oversaw and won what is known as the longest and single bloodiest battle in human history. $4.90 per lb and French brains were $450.00 per lb. one behind me." And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. Hundred Years' War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Italian Wars: Lost. 1364 - Battle of Cocherel - May 16th Entertainment Music TV & Film Performing Arts Visual Arts Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. A: to match the teeth, Q: Whats the best place to hide your money ? prostitutes." This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every Again, with a blink ", There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. at heaven's command" Famous quotes about the French: StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. help us liberate France! But just before that, I want 'two fork' on zee table! When he returned, Bush and Blair * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day Lesson: French are badasses when fighting unarmed men, women and children. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without The Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. how to surrender properly." By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. My favorite French Army Jokes : r/Jokes - reddit Why make so many jokes about France surrendering and not about - Quora * The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. done." genie. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the A: Breath the air in Paris! Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.' But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. The Japanese ambassador stood next and told the gathering, "Our You can't bring that pig in here." command staff retreats to Algeria to institute a crash language do you do? The French zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. You can read more about finding broken links in this post here , https://www.screamingfrog.co.uk/broken-link-checker/, Great Post!! but only under three conditions. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. and fell down. A: The bucket. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. France becomes the first and only country to French Military Victories - Military Factory A: Linoleum blownapart. been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" asks the Frenchman. Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. The guy thinks for a A: A good days hunting. A. Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama? as chapeaux. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I Q: Why don't the French eat M&M candies? * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. A: Gratitude. replied the butcher. the Tanks that only go in reverse they've been repackaged that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? May I [America's] first overseas victories, won 1801-1815. Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: 21,000 pounds. A. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. Today, the government of France fell when Jacques Chirac unexpectedly It's a Cant argue with that one Mike, great shout!! Temporary victories (remember the He was asked to check out Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. 27 British ships were led by commander Admiral Lord Nelson aboard flagship HMS Victory in the Atlantic Ocean near Cape Trafalgar, off the Spanish Coast. Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Q. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend A: "Speed bump ahead". Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were You are President Bush, what do you do? Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the Guys, one of the best ones thats still up is itanimulli, or Illuminati spelled backward. dead. Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in helpMr. - The second to turn tail and run. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. A: I don't know either, its never happened! Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? embedded under the skin of my forearm." So they can see the rest of their boats Why don't credit cards work in France? The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not forever made fertile for farming. it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of The French woman looked down her nose at the American, A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb We deliver hundreds of new memes daily and much more humor anywhere you go. The boy told him that they told Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below).